From the outside looking in I had the perfect upbringing. Wealthy family with an extravagant home, big happy family and a knack for being the centre of attention. I yearned for fame and was in dance, acting and modelling. My mom had me in it all, and I loved it! One day, I’d say, I’m going to be rich and famous and live with the stars. Unfortunately not everything you see is true; if I have learnt anything it is never judge a book by its cover. I was teased a lot as a child and called a cry baby. I was overly emotional and cried on the dime. Little did anyone know I was enduring sexual, physical and emotional abuse most of my childhood. I was coached on how to keep secrets, and in case you didn’t know secrets breed shame.

I struggled most of my life with body image, food addiction and later on cocaine and alcohol dependency. I stayed in abusive relationships that caused me physical and emotional pain. I’ve lost and regained custody of two of my children and have survived on minimal necessities because I never felt my worth.

Eventually pain gets unbearable. After the loss of my ex-husband’s brother I was full of shame. Six days before his passing we had had a fight; and I think about it almost every day. I cannot change the past but I can help people who struggle. Instead of shutting the door on people who deserve a chance I am here to give hope. It was after his overdose that I sought sobriety. It took me a few tries but October 16, 2016 is my birthday; the day I started to really live. In my first year of sobriety I came out publicly about my childhood, I owned my story, I stopped fearing peoples opinions about me being an addict, I wrote a chapter in a book, I got booked for keynote speaking opportunities, started a business and dropped the shame!

Today I fight the war on shame by speaking the truth. I actively support people who struggle in all areas of their life and offer workshops where we own our lives and ditch the shame. I am happily separated and enjoy each and every moment of my children’s lives. Being not only sober but shame free has taught me to slow down and smell the roses. Enjoy life because it is a gift and we all have the potential to make a difference.